Wednesday, July 13, 2005


(Sidenote: I’m sorry to use the same stale photos of me with glasses…be advised that I’m getting more soon.)

Today I realized for the first time that most people around my work environment are under the impression that I know what I’m doing.

Am I under some sort of moral obligation to tell them that the expression “faked it till she kicked it” will be engraved on my tombstone?

Look, kids. Just because you ask me if I can create an organization chart, download photos into a powerpoint presentation, or research caselaw for precedents involving institutional liability issues over consensual amorous relationships in the workplace, and I say… “sure no problem,” DOES NOT mean that I’ve ever done it before. It just means that I’m pretty sure I can figure it out. So don’t go thinking I’m smart or nothing. I’m just afraid of telling people no. It has more to do with my paralyzing fear of what people think of me than my zealous “go-getter” work ethic.

You know what it is? It’s a simple mathematical equation:

Lemon = nervous, over-achieving energy propelled by a deeply rooted fear of disapproval and unacceptance

X= a task with corresponding quality expectation and date of accomplishment

Lemonade= task accomplished on time and with sufficient quality compliance

Lemon + X = Lemonade!!!

And they say a woman’s mind is complex.* Mule muffins! Take a look at the equation, pal! That’s 2nd grade arithmetic you’re looking at.

*I do however reserve the right to become inexplicably more complex in nature without prior notice and for no logical purpose whatsoever.
All I can say is welcome to my life....that is what I have been doing for the past year and a half!! Hey it's worked so far....if only I could apply that to other aspects of my life......
Man that equation boggled my mind. I'm still trying to figure it out. I think everyone is that way with everything... on different levels. I.e. my friend was complaining the other day. She went to law school, did not pass the bar the first time, so she's been working these po dunk doo doo jobs answering phones at State Farm Insurance and retail in the meantime... she passed the bar now so she's on her way to bigger and better things by the way... but her roommate is a BYU grad in marketing or whatever and she has this high paying job and constantly comes home expressing how worried she is that her phone is going to ring and someone is going to ask her to do something because she has no idea what she's doing in that job! Wynne's got a law degree, top of her class grad and now passed the bar and can't make more than 10 bones an hour! See! You fakers have it made. Just kidding. Knowing you, you underestimate yourself. You CAN and usually DO figure out everything.
Love you. Kit. Have a good summer.
The fact that you figure it out on your owns just proves how smart you ARE.
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