Friday, August 12, 2005
the exotic and mysterious creature that i am
I’m sorry...I have to throw this in, because it’s just too funny.
A few moments ago, I was picking a scab on the outer edge of my right nostril (I sometimes get sores in my nose, it’s very sexy.) And at just about that time, this secretary friend, Linda, passes by my doorway. She startles me, and I did that jump thing, the way you do when someone catches you in any undignified position. For one moment we made eye contact - - with my finger still in my nose. She quickly broke eye contact, and kept moving. I had to chuckle to myself at how stupid that was.
You think that’s bad?
THEN...no sooner had I pulled my finger out of my nose when my right armpit needed to be scratched. Wouldn’t you know it? Right as I’m scratching...SAME SECRETARY LADY COMES WALKING BACK THE OTHER WAY!!
In a matter of 46 seconds, Secretary Lady has seen me both pick my nose and scratch my pit. For all she knows, this is what I do with my time, sit here pickin’ and scratchin’. She is sharing office space with Ape Woman. Do you think she’ll want to sit next to me at the Staff Appreciation Luncheon next week? Perhaps not. She’s too afraid I’ll pick the bugs out of her hair and nibble on them for an appetizer.
A few moments ago, I was picking a scab on the outer edge of my right nostril (I sometimes get sores in my nose, it’s very sexy.) And at just about that time, this secretary friend, Linda, passes by my doorway. She startles me, and I did that jump thing, the way you do when someone catches you in any undignified position. For one moment we made eye contact - - with my finger still in my nose. She quickly broke eye contact, and kept moving. I had to chuckle to myself at how stupid that was.
You think that’s bad?
THEN...no sooner had I pulled my finger out of my nose when my right armpit needed to be scratched. Wouldn’t you know it? Right as I’m scratching...SAME SECRETARY LADY COMES WALKING BACK THE OTHER WAY!!
In a matter of 46 seconds, Secretary Lady has seen me both pick my nose and scratch my pit. For all she knows, this is what I do with my time, sit here pickin’ and scratchin’. She is sharing office space with Ape Woman. Do you think she’ll want to sit next to me at the Staff Appreciation Luncheon next week? Perhaps not. She’s too afraid I’ll pick the bugs out of her hair and nibble on them for an appetizer.
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Things like this happen to me all the time. You know how, being a woman, sometimes you just need to adjust your bra. Well, lets just say there are some occasions when I have chosen the less than idea time to adjust.
When things like that happen you wonder if they will ever look at you the same, and then you think and realize. Who cares?
When things like that happen you wonder if they will ever look at you the same, and then you think and realize. Who cares?
OH MY GOSH. Tears are streaming down my face. I am grasping the chair and table so I don't fall. THAT WAS SO HILARIOUS!!!
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