Wednesday, August 17, 2005

um, ew.

Last night I had a dream that I was talking to Harley tattoo neighbor man. He informed me, in the dream, that he was my mom's first husband. (um, ew.) I told him I hadn't heard that. He said it was true. I wondered if my Dad knew that Mom had been married before. I woke up wondering if I should be the one to tell Dad.

Then I realized that Harley tattoo neighbor man was pulling into the driveway after his night shift.

The mind is such a crazy thing - - how it can blend the conscious with the sub-conscious.

So here I am typing away wearing my reading glasses. (um, ew.) Has everyone seen the family photo on my sister's blog? You can see it here.

I mean, really. Do you see Mom with a Harley man? So not a love connection, Chuck. Try again.

I really hate when I wake up from such a vivid, and usually disturbing, dream that seems so real I have to take a few minutes and re-orient myself. I have to establish what's real and what isn't. That no, I don't have to pull my sister out of the jaws of a Great White. No, I don't have to call an apologize for cursing at my grandmother. I really don't have a broken leg. I'm not pregnant at my high school graduation, and my water didn't break the second my name was announced over the speakers. No, Elmo doesn't eat children, he's a nice monster who teaches us to read.

Perhaps I've shared a little too much without knowing it. So all yous guys out there...what's one of your favorite bizarre dreams? Please share.
I have these wretched nightmares that my old roommate said I should write out and submit as screenplays. They're very involved with extensive backstories.

One I had a few months ago centered around an alien invasion. I had figured out how to stop them and needed to get to the President ASAP.

A couple of years ago I had one where these evil beings were killing people and everyone erroneously thought I was with the evil beings because the evil beings made everyone think I was with them so everyone would turn against me. That one ended with me cornered in a store and one of the townspeople bringing a butcher knife down on me. I woke up screaming, and scared the crap out of my friend who I was sharing a room with while we were on vacation.

My head is a scary place sometimes.
I can't remember any of my own at the moment (I know there have been plenty, I'm just blanking). However, my pregnant friend was telling me today that she had her first dream where she could actually see her baby. And she dropped him on his head, and he wouldn't stop pooping. Not like normal baby amount, but seriously ridiculous amounts of poo. She wasn't amused.
Eek, g. Now that's a triple "um, ew"!!!

Perhaps that should be the new name of my blog, with one modification:

"seriously ridiculous amounts of brain poo." I'm taking votes. Yay or nay.
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