Friday, October 14, 2005
i wanna new blog
Today I want to find out how everybody is doing.
How was your week?
Did anyone try a new breakfast cereal? A new route home from work? Finish an amazing book that changed your life?
And what about shoes? Anyone get some new shoes?
How's the neck feeling these days? Any serious digestive issues? Did you run out of Q-tips this morning? I hate that. Did you think of someone this week that you haven't thought of since elementary school?
Do you have enough milk? And what about cheese? Mmmmm...cheese.
Okay, that should get you started. Now let me tell you the umbrella story. It will grip you like you've never known.
Last Friday, I was meeting my sister who was going to be staying with me all the live long weekend before heading home to California. That day I happened to be wearing a shirt that turns x-rated if it gets even slightly damp. It looked liked rain, and I had no umbrella. So...I borrowed one.
I borrowed one...
The gal who had the extra umbrella is terrific, but has lost umbrellas to inconsiderate borrowers before. I assured her that I was very good at returning items I have borrowed, and I would be sure to return her umbrella to her first thing Tuesday morning.
I think I lost that stupid umbrella before I even left the building.
I searched for an entire week to no avail. So today during lunch I went to buy a new umbrella.
Number of times "umbrella" used thus far: 7
I went to buy one...
Perhaps you've not seen the weather reports in New England, but one local headline actually used the word "pummeled" in its connection to "rain", and I believe that is a great word. Even when not associated with rain. Pummeled. Yes. Indeed, we have been pummeled of late with rain, over the last 7 days to be exact. And when a region is pummeled, you best bet your bestest knickers that umbrellas are a hot ticket. So off I go out into the pummeling rain to be pummeled around to four different stores looking for an umbrella. Four different stores! No umbrellas.
"pummeled" tally: 6
"umbrella" tally: 10
I finally end up at Filene's, where poor people like me only go to drool over Coach handbags and cashmere earrings and diamond scarves. Why? Because that's where the pummeling rain hoisted me. I had five minutes to find an umbrella, pay for it, and get back to my desk.
Sidenote: I wasn't going to replace nice lady's umbrella with some cheapy nylon thing. But I really didn't want to go to Filene's for it either, you feel me? No choice. No umbrellas. And it's still pummeling.
I'm really glad I got that raise. So I could spend it on umbrellas. Oh, I use umbrellas (plural) because somewhere mid-hoisting between four different stores looking for the replacement umbrella, the cheapy nylon umbrella I was using bit the big one. A nasty bit of pummeling. Didn't have a chance, poor sap. So now I'm in the market for two.
two umbrellas, please...HOW MUCH?!?!
Well, they're really nice umbrellas. And I'm feeling good because at least I can apologize to work lady with a nice new umbrella. Conscience clear. Can't put a price on peace of mind. I get hoisted back to work, pummeling rain slipping down my overpriced red umbrella, walk in the door and deliver the new umbrella. I even took the price tag off, partially because it's tacky as we all know, but partially because I'm truly embarrassed that I paid that much for it. Maybe it has invisible diamond-encrusts around the handle or something. But since I removed the tag, I'll never know.
"umbrella": 21 (I think umbrella is going to take it.)
oh you shouldn't have, Mary!....no, really.
Nice work lady that let me borrow her umbrella had completely forgotten all about it. Nice work lady has about 15 different umbrellas at home. She's got plenty. But she really appreciates it. Nice work lady suggests that we all use the new invisible diamond-encrusted, hoisting, pummeling rain-deterring Filene's umbrella as a "back-up" office umbrella, for everyone's use. You know, in case something like this ever happens again. To which I say "GREAT!" Big saccharine smile.
This is my life.
"hoist" : 4
Umbrella wins in a wash.
Also, I love cheese. My current is Manchego, and I think this afternoon I'll make an apple and manchego salad to snack on.
(Truly, I'm glad for the reminder.)
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