Mary + Her Mental Health

I left right at 5:00 from work yesterday because I had to get home, turn on the oven, throw the leftovers in there to warm, change clothes, review my VT message, go visit teaching, get to the Target, and be back by 7:30 to greet House enthusiasts.

Arrived home: 6:01
Turn on oven: 6:05
Go Visit Teach: 6:15
Leave VT: 7:00
Arrive Target: 7:15

I had already decided to go to the fancy pants Target:
a) because it was slightly closer than the ghetto Target and
b) Because it’s fancy pants Target, where undoubtedly their DVD shipments are on time and plentiful.

7:15 - At the fancy pants Target:
Ack! I am sooo late. Okay, just get to Electronics, New Releases.

Not in New Releases.

Okay….where else. Where else? [looking, wandering.] Here’s Season 1….great. Season 2? Season 2? Where is Season 2?! I know it’s today…hmmm.

Don’t panic.

Right. Go back to the first place I was. Looking…looking some more. Oh wow, you know I don’t have time for this!

Wait a minute.

Is it even remotely possible that….no. It’s today. This is the fancy pants Target. Of all the Targets, this one would have it. It’s here. Keep looking.

7:20 – Still looking. Guy in red shirt and khaki’s toting laser gun turns the corner.

Me: Hi! Do you know where I can find House, MD. Season 2? It’s
August 22nd, which is the release date, and I’m
heretogetitbutIcan’tfinditandIknowtoday’sthedaysocanyoushowmewhereitisplease?House?Season2?NotSeason1,Season2?Yellowbox?

Him: Huh?

Me: House? The TV show? House M.D.?
House. TV show. Season 2? It’s August 22nd, which is the release
date, today’s August 22nd, and I’m
heretogetitbutIcan’tfinditandIknowtoday’sthedaysocanyoushowmewhereitisplease?House?Season2?NotSeason1,Season2?Yellowbox?

Him [pointing limply to no particular thing and walking away] : If it’s here…it’d be
over in rrrefruguhmuggashmuga.

Abandoned. Don’t panic.

7:24 – Leave fancy pants Target. Empty handed. [Gasp!]

7:25 – What my steering wheel heard:

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE HOUSE M.D. SEASON 2!!!? YOU’RE THE FANCY PANTS
TARGET! YOUUUU AAARRRE TARGET! YOUR SHIPMENTS COME REGULARLY AND
PLENTIFULLY!!! I SHOULDA GONE TO THE GHETTO TARGET! WHY DID I DOUBT
THE GHETTO TARGET? IT IS AUGUST 22ND!!!! WHERE IS
SEASON 2??! I DON’T WANT TO LIIIIIIIVE!!!! I’VE BEEN
WAITING SO LOOOOONG!!!!

I’m a good 25 minutes from home. I don’t have time to go to another
Target. I’m in my car hoping the food isn’t charred and the house hasn’t
burned down. I’m hoping no one has shown up yet and gone home because no
one answered the door. WHAT DO I SHOW THEM? WHAT DO I DO? I’ve failed.
I’ve so failed. Maybe we could watch the finale of Season 1?
Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap….

Made it home in 12 minutes. No one is there. Yesssss.

Parry shows up first. I tell her my story.

Parry: Mary, we need to go to another Target and get it.

Right. I knew that.

Then Jasmine calls.

J: I’m on my way, do you need anything?!

Me: Yes! I would like one copy of House, M.D. Season 2 on DVD, please?

J: Ummm, okay, I’ll just stop in at the Watertown Target.

Right. This is….uh…this is not the crisis I thought. (ahem.)
We got started a little late. But when Jasmine brought in Hugh 2 I did the happy dance until Parry yelled at me to stop dancing and open it up already. (Oh, right. Sorry!)

More people came. We all sat on the couch, the seven of us, and lived happily ever after. For the first two episodes. The End. I wish you could see the smile on my face.

Parry and Jasmine, words cannot express the emotions wrought, the deep gratitude felt. Maybe I could search the Rod Stewart greatest hits collection; then maybe you'd have some idea. Lots of love to you both.