Mary + Her Mental Health

Mocking the mentally unbalanced, in my view, secures admittance into some or other circle of hell. It’s low, it’s mean, and it’s totally, and utterly, NOT what I am about to do. I relay facts as I see them unfold, then I make a few neutral, if not benign, personal observations thereof.

I’m sorry, but I have just never seen anything like this in my life, and you need to hear about it.

Today on Tremont street, I noticed a man hugging a lamppost with his arms. Also, feet. He was wrapped around this post as if he were about scale up the thing like a Polynesian on a palm tree. Aaand…as if that were not enough. He was kissing the lamp post. He was kissing the lamppost. Kissing. The lamppost.

When my eyes first skimmed over the scene, I thought maybe he was an electrician working on a phone pole. It was only after the double-take did I realize a) it’s not a phone pole; b) he’s not an electrician; and c) there is no practical or professional justification for kissing a lamppost anyway. Either the guy is on camera about to make some dough in exchange for human dignity, or he is really, really, confused.

Then, and I think this is the funniest part, he dismounts, takes one last look at his post, pauses, then without a word turns and walks away like nothing. Just continues on his way.

I stinkin’ love this town.

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