Wednesday, March 21, 2007

life soundtrack

Okay. Stealing from my good friend over here, Kelly, I've done the shuffle song game. Basically, how it works is, you're given a list of life events. You switch your iPod to "Shuffle Songs." Without cheating, you write, in order, what song comes up for each life event. Here's how mine turned out. As a courtesy to you, I've written in my comments for each in a separate font.

Opening credits: Tragedy, Brandi Carlile
Well. I see we’re off to a promising start.

Waking up: The Story, Brandi Carlile
If we stopped here, you’d all think I just listen to Brandi Carlile. Even if that’s kinda true, it’s not for you to know at this stage in our relationship.

First Day at School: Another Place to Fall, KT Tunstall
I did fall off the monkey bars quite often in school.

Falling in Love: Faith, Service, Constancy – General Conference Talk by David S. Baxter
Amen. Love has everything to do with these three things.

Fight Song: Try a Little Tenderness, Otis Redding
I’d like to see a football coach lead his fearless fighters on to the field shouting at the opposing team: SQUEEEZUH….DON’T TEASE-UH…NEVAH LEEEEAVE-UH…!! That’s sure to scare the living crud outta them and they win by forfeit. Oh, but wait…this is about *my personal fight song. Oops.

Breaking Up: Momma Look Sharp, 1776
Now this is particularly funny to me. For those unfamiliar, this is a song from a musical sung by a young man wounded in the Revolutionary War (I think) and frightened he’s going to die. An unbelievably melodramatic song, and therefore very appropro.

Prom: Killing Me Softly, Fugees
My prom so would have sucked less if they’d played this song.

Life’s OK: The Shortest Story, Harry Chapin
Um, I beg to differ! Life’s OK?!?! Not even. This is so not good. Here’s the lyrics to my “Life’s OK” song and you tell me if I’m not completely screwed:

I am born today, the sun burns its promise in my eyes;
Mama strikes me and I draw a breath and cry.
Above me a cloud softly tumbles through the sky;
I am glad to be alive.

It is my seventh day, I taste the hunger and I cry;
my brother and sister cling to Mama's side.
She squeezes her breast, but it has nothing to provide;
someone weeps, I fall asleep.

It is twenty days today, Mama does not hold me anymore;
I open my mouth but I am too weak to cry.
Above me a bird slowly crawls across the sky;
why is there nothing now to do but die?

Oy. Moving on. Pretty please can we have something even just a little more positive? Fingers crossed, here we go…

Mental Breakdown: Cheated Hearts, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Cheated by the opposite of love, kept on high from up-up-up above. Word.

Driving: Jesus, Once of Humble Birth – Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Jim Kaser arr.
If I listened to this every time I got behind the wheel, it would end all road rage episodes. Food for thought.

Inner Smile: Wake Me Up Inside, Evanescence
Maybe the smile is from thinking how retarded the music video for this song was.

Flashback: Cry To Me, Solomon Burke
Total flashback, indeed. 1986. Christy Allen’s birthday slumber party, Dirty Dancing. The movie my mother never wanted me to see.

Getting Back to Together: Momentum, Aimee Mann
Judging by the title, a good fit. Judging by the rest of the song, I give it two weeks tops.

Wedding: All Right Now, Free
Yeah, I could see it.

Birth of a Child: Superstition, Stevie Wonder
Wow. I guess I’m birthing witches and sorcerors.

Final Battle: Cornflake Girl, Tori Amos
The battle is in deciphering Tori’s exact meaning of this song. And yes, I think it just might be my final earthly struggle.

Death Scene: Respect, Aretha
I only get it after I’m dead. Typical.

Funeral: The Reason, Hoobastank
Okay, so if I was beaten and murdered, I can imagine my killer crashing the funeral in a fit of guilt and singing this song to my casket just before they clap him in irons and take him away. That would be awesome.

“I’m sorry that I hurt yooouuu. It’s something I must live with every daaayyy.”


actually, i was planning on singing THE REASON at your funeral. there i am 95 years old, which makes you.. umm. eh hem.. never mind- but your old n stuff. i can just hear the warble in my voice and it isn't from my efforts not to cry- the parkinsons has reach the vocal chords and so i always sing like i'm standing on a bucking broncho. but the words mar-- the words are as clear as day-- as is the meaning and intent... and it's beautiful. {tear falls}
Where can I purchase your soundtrack, I'm currently in the studio recording my own...soon to be released at Newbury Comics midnight party later this week. Love you.
Hey, Mary! Found your blog off of Jared's and I think I may even steal your more recent post idea. Hope you don't mind... Just have to tell you that you are hilarious and, ummm, you totally have my respect, and you're not even dead...
isn't it clear? she thought it would be a good solution to hang with the raisin girls...

love it. stealing it. coming soon.
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