Tuesday, February 07, 2006

mary unburdens herself

Remember when I said I was going to introduce new topics to my blog, and one of those topics was the chronic use of misnomers when I’m talking to smart people?

I Give You Exhibit “A”

I was asked to give the closing prayer in sacrament meeting this last Sunday. After I sat down I started to question a word I used in my prayer, then quickly dismissed the thought, thinking that if it were a mistake to use the word someone would have told me. And no one told me.

The phrase I used was something to the effect of: “please help us exonerate the Savior by being…etc., etc.,”

Oohhhh! I’m sorry.
The correct answer is: What is EXEMPLIFY? E-x-e-m-p-l-i-f-y.

Then today, and this is so not a coincidence mind you, I’m reading an article for work which used “exonerate” in its correct context, and I could not stop laughing. My boss commented that the article was not intended to be humorous. And then I explained myself and the unfortunate events of last Sunday.

At the podium, people! Misnomer AMPLIFIED by temperamental microphone!

I heard the Bishop’s “Amen” afterward. Bishop! Are you sure about that? Do you agree with me, that we need to “relieve” the Savior “of his responsibilities or obligations”*** by…etc., etc.,?! No. I don’t think so. No “Amen” for you.

You better believe that ravenous fasters were spitting out their 3 p.m. dinners as they recounted Mary, The Exonerator, in between bites.

Ah well. These things keep me fumble.
***Webster's Ninth Ed.
Bwahahahaha! For the record, I'm fine speaking in church, I'm fine bearing my testimony, and I'm fine teaching. Just never ask me to pray! For some reason, it's the public praying that makes me nervous!
iT'S OKAY...no one was probably even thinking..they were listening to their stomachs growling. I hate that it happens though. Can't tell you how many times I've stood to say a prayer....I start the prayer and then end up standing there for about 40 seconds unable to think of what to say next. At least you SAY words...though they may be slightly incorrect. hahaha...i say nothing and I know people are squinting at me through their closed eyes to make sure I'm not suddenly weeping or something. Not to worry. Isn't it wonderful to know that we all do similar things? We're all in this together.
and, i love you even more!
You know, that IS what i was doing at 3pm! How'd you know? Now, you realize that I am totally kidding and being dramatic for effect and I know i didn't even remember it.

Now, when I had to give a talk on the sacrament, i think last summer, at the end i kept saying 'sacramite' instead of 'sacrament'. even when i concentrated. it was awful.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAT!!!! I hear the Thai food a'callin'! Looking forward to tonight.

Cicada: Word up! I'm the same exact stinkin' way! Perhaps it's the off-the-cuff, impromptu, guided by the Spirit, but if I were really in-tune I'd know what to say, kind of pressure I place on myself when publically communing with Deity!

Kim: I love you so much. You just always know what to say to make me feel normal again. Not one judgy bone in that fabulous body of yours. And, yes, I love how in our church, if there's more than 5 second of silence, we conclude that someone is choking up at what they're about to say.
I just get stuck between languages. And then have to translate from spanish to english. And then say things like "We give you thanks for the oppurtunity to meet ourselves together to teach ourselves.....bad.
Not nearly as bad as the bishopbric member who introduced the "high greased poop leader" who was speaking that morning or the announcement of "Sister Playbody will now pee for us."
Could have been much, much worse.
hahahahah...it COULD have been way worse, now that you mention it!!! Reminds me of the time that we were at our dinner table having "family time" and the girls were fighting and Royce belts out, "Do you fart and Igue at school like this in front of your teachers?" (meaning Fight and Argue) of course the fight was over after that....hahaha.
manda & Kim: Oh the tears! My face hurts!
Okay... that is funny. Public speaking anywhere is one of my least favorite things ever. That, and cooked carrots. Blah. I would have never noticed a mistake like that... I would more have been "wow, she can speak in front of other people, that's amazing."
postface comment: having thai food for catchka's birthday last night when two of my linguisty-minded friends laughed and pointed right at me after my faithful and loving roommate asked everyone: "so, who was in church last Sunday and heard Mary's prayer?"

no mercy, these people. none.
Mary, I LOVE you. This is hilarious. I'm a terrible english speaker. Don't worry. HEY! It runs in the family, maybe? We're DOOOOOOMED!!!!!!
Not that anyone cares, but....at our grandparents cabin there is this spiral iron staircase that was first designed for Siegfred and Roy's home (no joke) and once while explaining this, grandpa stated that it was "Sigmond and Freud's". And of course, my father pipes up, "so if I fell down the stairs, would it be a freudian slip?"

We are big nerds.
My favorite Mary Misspeaking Moment is when she called the nursery kid Sweetfart instead of Sweetheart. Claaaaaasic.
OHHHH MYYY GOOOOSH! How did I forget that?!?!

This comes from the use of two differeny words in my "endearing name" vocab: Sweetface and Sweetheart. One day I got confused halfway through.

Thank you, dear sister, for sharing this personal historical nugget with the universe. Cuddles!
differny? Is that also an endearing name?

Please exonerate me from my typos.
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