Thursday, March 29, 2007

you would think I make this crap up

Nope. Not even one exaggeration or embellishment. Here is a phone call I answered at work this afternoon:

Me: President’s Office, this is Mary?

Her: Yes, hi. My name is Dr. Nutt, I left a message at this extension yesterday?

Me: Oh! Hello, um, Dr….I’m sorry, Nut did you say?

Her: Nutt. Yes.

Me: Dr. Nutt. The President and her assistants are in Los Angeles for a conference, and I’m covering for them. I’m sorry no one received your message.

Her: Oh I see. Well the reason I called is we’d like to the invite the president to a special event at (Dr. Nutt’s Medical Organization). We think she’ll really enjoy it.

Me: Okay, and what’s the event? (getting out a pen.)

Her: Well, it’s a host of various performances from our patients, colleagues and other local artists.

Me: Okay…

Her: Basically, it’s music, song, performance art, dance…

Me: Right.

Her: …performing all their own original work. Each artist has centered their piece around a particular illness.

Me: Uh huh. (one eyebrow raises, half my mouth smiles, jotting all this down with a pen.)

Her: So for example, one might sing a song about….diabetes. Or…an interpretive dance about…a heart attack. Or something like that.

Me: (silence…gaining….composure….wetting self…crying…) Uh-huh. Gotcha.

Her: And one of the performers is an alum of your college. So…

Me: Okay, Dr. Nut, how do you spell you last name please?

Her: It’s Nutt. N-U-T-T. (it certainly is.) (I take down the rest of her info.)

Me: Thank you, fantastic. This sounds very interesting, best of luck. (Will there, by chance, be a videotaping of this event I might have a copy of? I’m especially interested in the “heart attack” dance.)

Her: Thank you!

Me: And I’ll forward your message to them on Monday.

Her: Thanks so much. Bye-bye.

Me: Goodbye.


HAHAHAHA! We need to re-create this for the next Craptacular.


Or, you can tell this story, then say you got some guests to repeat their performance...

enter peggy in backless hospital gown

i am still laughing that you didn't recognize my voice!!!

oh and by the way... i would like to sue your school!

oh and other by the way, it wasn't really me that called... i just needed some attention.
Oh, Peg! You Nutt!
dear mary,

nut is spelled n.u.t. in the context of which you called peggy one. hello!


capt. obvious

p.s. all the sudden i want nutter-butters. i don't even like them, but i'm thinking that if i eat enough, i may have a heart attack from which i could pattern an interpretive dance. perhaps i'd make it into the next show...
Real life is always better than fiction. I think I have a really quiet breathy song about my asthma if you guys need an extra filler in the next craptacular.
I have been meaning to think of another way of answering my phone at work. I just say "Hello?". I'm going with your method: say the name of the company and my name. Good thing I read your blog.
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