Thursday, March 29, 2007

you would think I make this crap up

Nope. Not even one exaggeration or embellishment. Here is a phone call I answered at work this afternoon:

Me: President’s Office, this is Mary?

Her: Yes, hi. My name is Dr. Nutt, I left a message at this extension yesterday?

Me: Oh! Hello, um, Dr….I’m sorry, Nut did you say?

Her: Nutt. Yes.

Me: Dr. Nutt. The President and her assistants are in Los Angeles for a conference, and I’m covering for them. I’m sorry no one received your message.

Her: Oh I see. Well the reason I called is we’d like to the invite the president to a special event at (Dr. Nutt’s Medical Organization). We think she’ll really enjoy it.

Me: Okay, and what’s the event? (getting out a pen.)

Her: Well, it’s a host of various performances from our patients, colleagues and other local artists.

Me: Okay…

Her: Basically, it’s music, song, performance art, dance…

Me: Right.

Her: …performing all their own original work. Each artist has centered their piece around a particular illness.

Me: Uh huh. (one eyebrow raises, half my mouth smiles, jotting all this down with a pen.)

Her: So for example, one might sing a song about….diabetes. Or…an interpretive dance about…a heart attack. Or something like that.

Me: (silence…gaining….composure….wetting self…crying…) Uh-huh. Gotcha.

Her: And one of the performers is an alum of your college. So…

Me: Okay, Dr. Nut, how do you spell you last name please?

Her: It’s Nutt. N-U-T-T. (it certainly is.) (I take down the rest of her info.)

Me: Thank you, fantastic. This sounds very interesting, best of luck. (Will there, by chance, be a videotaping of this event I might have a copy of? I’m especially interested in the “heart attack” dance.)

Her: Thank you!

Me: And I’ll forward your message to them on Monday.

Her: Thanks so much. Bye-bye.

Me: Goodbye.

Labels:


Comments:
HAHAHAHA! We need to re-create this for the next Craptacular.

YESsssssssss

Or, you can tell this story, then say you got some guests to repeat their performance...

enter peggy in backless hospital gown

HOT
 
i am still laughing that you didn't recognize my voice!!!


oh and by the way... i would like to sue your school!


oh and other by the way, it wasn't really me that called... i just needed some attention.
 
Oh, Peg! You Nutt!
 
dear mary,

nut is spelled n.u.t. in the context of which you called peggy one. hello!

signed,

capt. obvious

p.s. all the sudden i want nutter-butters. i don't even like them, but i'm thinking that if i eat enough, i may have a heart attack from which i could pattern an interpretive dance. perhaps i'd make it into the next show...
 
Real life is always better than fiction. I think I have a really quiet breathy song about my asthma if you guys need an extra filler in the next craptacular.
 
I have been meaning to think of another way of answering my phone at work. I just say "Hello?". I'm going with your method: say the name of the company and my name. Good thing I read your blog.
 
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