Thursday, August 16, 2007

on a current fad...

If you search the words “vitamin” and “water” you will get 2.3 million websites. Including my blog. Vitamin Water costs about 5,000 times more than tap water. Some nutritionists would argue that vitamin-filled water products are only a ploy to make money. OF COURSE IT’S A WAY TO MAKE MONEY. This is America, and by that I mean we don’t have time to eat vegetables. All free enterprise is saying here is go ahead and not change that.

I have a close and personal friend who really struggles with the idea of something else being in her water besides water. She doesn’t do those vitamin supplements in her fruit smoothies either. Something about the imagined “grainy” texture. I pity her, really. It means she has to eat broccoli. She has to chew stuff. Chewing food is sooooo over with. Ask any runway model, they’ll tell you.

Frankly, I kind of like the idea of getting all our nutrients from a neon-colored liquid. It makes me feel like we’re that much closer to living in Star Trek times. First step, drink our food. Next, sleep in pods and move things with our minds. I heard they started an employee pod-sleeping beta program at Google headquarters. Very progressive.

I do, however, draw a hard line at putting vitamins in my Diet Coke.

Look. Diet Coke people. I know you’re following the trend here, and I deeply admire your already insatiable lust for the mighty dollar which compels you to get even more mo by jumping into the over-crowded vitamin-infused bounce house with your pathetic excuse for a health drink. But let me make something clear. And I think I speak for many when I say this. I drink Diet Coke because it represents what is my last remaining addiction to chemical stimulants designed to alter my state of mind in an unhealthy manner. So please don’t do anything to ruin that for me.

Julie, was this okay?

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let it be knows that this lady can blog about anything. and when i say anything, i mean anything. go on, give her a topic...i dare you to...
"Chewing food is sooooo over with. Ask any runway model, they’ll tell you."

I did and she told me that keeping ingested food in your stomach for more than 10 minutes is out too. I'm so behind the times.
But I read somewhere that Caffine and other chemicals in Diet Coke interfere with the body's absorbtion of how is putting them IN the coke gonna help? I just take mine in pill form at midnight, since that is (sometimes)the farthest away from my last coke and my next coke so maybe some of them will get in there?

PS: I used to be a model...let me tell you, I did drink my meals for two days before a show or shoot (I never threw up though!)...Man it SUCKS! I am so glad to have gone back to eating anything I want!
Ju: Your confidence is fundamentally flawed yet much appreciated.

Mooney: you and me both, brother. I still think "What Goes Around" by JT is the hot new single out.

Jessica: I feel sorry for anyone that hasn't seen your beauty in person. I used to just stare at you. And I like boys! I'm sure you could write a book about your modeling experiences. I'd love to read it.
Oh, and Jess...i didn't even know about the caffeine inhibitor thing! My gosh, people!
My sister is pretty. And smart. I used to just stare at her too Mary. Sometimes still do.

By the way. I used to just stare at Mary as well. I thought she was just the epitome of talent, beauty, maturity, and grace.

Did I mention that Mary gave me voice lessons for a minute when I was auditioning for The Music Man in Junior High? She's good.
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